As people’s private lives are attacked,
I think that it could’ve been me.
What if my voice-mail had've been hacked,
And my deepest secrets set free.
The world might hear of addiction,
A disgrace to my family tree.
My life is scarred with affliction,
None worse than my constant consumption of tea.
I've tried to stop, but you don’t understand,
It’s harder than that you see.
Imagine me sitting there, biscuit in hand,
Dry as a bone, without any tea.
It’s all well and good drinking water,
But it doesn't quite pack the same punch.
If I had one I’d sell my own daughter,
For some quality tea with my lunch.
The thought that the papers could get hold of this
Has driven me slightly insane.
When I don’t enjoy tea I know something’s amiss,
So I've become quite partial to smack and cocaine.
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