Keeping My Options Open

I'm not looking forward to dying,

But I'll give it some thought if I must.

It'll happen, there's no point in crying,

So if I have to I'd like to spontaneously combust.

Spontaneous combustion is hard to arrange,

So I've thought of another idea.

Accidentally shot on a firing range,

Or strapped to a warhead in North Korea.

I'd consider being crushed by a Chinese tank,

Or shot on a grassy knole,

Wear a star of David around the West Bank,

Get a Palestinian boot up the hole.

Some polonium-210 mixed in with my tea,

Or a happy slap gone wrong.

Charged with murder in the land of the free,

If I did it or not, I'd be dead before long.

But then doctors are very clever.

What with medical advancements and all.

So I reckon I might live forever,

Or just die from injuries sustained in a fall.

Creationism or EVILution?

What would you like to have taught to your kids?
Facts or superstition?
Apparently god expressly forbids
Scientific inquisition.

So in for a penny, in for a pound,
If we were really created by god,
I would suggest that the earth isn't round,
And we actually live in a sterilised pod,

The pod man is out there watching us all,
Listening to all of our thoughts,
He digitally records every telephone call,
Stored as a series of ones and naughts.

To listen in on every creation,
You've placed inside your pod,
It's useful to own a news corporation,
Yep, I'm afraid Rupert Murdoch is God.