Pat Ingoldsby

This guy is a poet from Dublin. He is semi-homeless and his poems rarely rhyme, but we'll hold neither of these things against him because he's a bit of an awkward genius. This one's for all you English boyos. It's called Brittania:

It is not in the Irishman's nature
to cover the grass when it rains
and run for shelter.
Then the civilisers came
and taught us cricket.

And didn't you teach us well...